I dusted off my laptop today so I could enjoy some ER episodes from my room. It literally had dust all over it; I haven’t used my laptop since the infamous West Memphis Walmart iPad purchase in November. Which also explains why I’ve caught myself poking the screen. I also have just been reminded that the letter “G” on this keyboard is stuck and needs several poundings before making an appearance in the text box.
On a whim, I sifted through some of my old Word files. The majority of documents I have saved are from graduate school: powerpoints on distance education, MBTI, and orienation programs; data from research projects; and close to 35 law briefs.
However, I’ve come across some random writing tidbits from that time. I don’t consider myself an artistic person; I don’t draw or play music to relax, but on occasion, I just get this itching feeling in my fingers and I just have to write. Writing is alot like running. If you’re out of shape, you may be able to run, but it’s only for short bits of time and then you’re completely exhausted and want nothing more than to go eat ice cream. That’s how I am with writing; I’ll get a creative thought, rush to make it concrete and on paper, and ten minutes later I slam the laptop screen shut and go read a fluff book on my Kindle. And while I haven’t been…consistent… with my blog, it’s my form of exercise for my writing. I can’t expect myself to write a great novel or inspiring essay out of the blue just like I shouldn’t expect myself to run a marathon after laying on the couch for six months.
Call me nostaligic, but it was fun looking at the various- albeit short and unfinished- ramblings I made, primarily in graduate school. I spent about three hours working on a t-shirt quilt today for some of my college shirts, and it reminded me of (what feels like) an entirely different time in my life, and with people and places I have, sadly, strikingly less connection with than now. Shoot, I’m MARRIED to someone I had no clue existed when I wore the t-shirts I cut into quilting squares today. College was such a pivotal time in my life, that it’s hard to believe how much has changed since then, and how different my life has turned out compared to how I thought it would be like.
Anyways, all that to say, I found this below on my laptop’s files and thought I’d share it. For some background, I THINK I wrote this sometime in March or April of 2009, right before alot of things for the upcoming three years of my life would be solidified.
Kathryn told me the other night that two of the things she misses most from college are being able to wear sweatpants every day, and her friends. I couldn’t agree more. One of the hardest battles I’ve fought while being at graduate school is the blister war. Wearing heels and looking professional every day has been worse than writing 25 page papers, in my opinion. After walking three miles in 4 inch heels one day, I stared at my swollen feet and told myself that I would never, ever, do that again. I would swallow my pride and emulate Melanie Griffith in Working Girl, proudly strutting my three-piece skirt suit in my high-top white sneakers. Did I mention I’ve learned how to tease my hair, too?
Making myself look professional for my job has been one of the many first that I’ve encountered while in graduate school. I graduated college on my 22nd birthday, and so this year it will mark not only being a year older, but the close of my first year out of college. I affectionately dubbed it the “Ummm Year”. I’ve found that the year after college, most people are still trying to figure themselves out. Consequently, they do stuff to fill in that gap until they make their minds up. That’s what you do when you say “umm” in a sentence…you’re just trying to fill up the empty space until a new thought comes.
As a communications major, I was taught NEVER to say “umm.” So, I went to graduate school. Serena, my free-spirited best friend, went to Australia. My other friends jumped head first into the careers they had been preparing for since they got to college.
As of this moment in time, I have 77 days, 3 hours, 47 minutes, and 40 seconds until I graduate from my master’s program. I have a nifty count-down box on my desktop. It constantly reminds me that things change. My mom told me the other day that everything is always changing; this can be a comfort in hard times (which is has), and it can be sad things when life is good. I remember this time last year, counting down the days until I graduated from college, wishing I could stop time and live at Belhaven forever. But, time marched on, and it’s still marching. As you can probably tell, I’m telling time to speed up now rather than stop.
I’m learning, though, that as much as I want things to change, that there are still things to learn while I’m in this state. As crazy as it seems, I apparently have more time to develop myself as a person now that I will at any other time in my life. I’m slightly incredulous of this when I leave for campus at 8:30am and don’t get back until 9pm that night.
Like I said before, I’ve had a lot of firsts this year. First job, first time moving away, first apartment…and a lot more. I’m ready for some second’s now!