‘Codone Cards

Thanks to a rather pesky migraine that has been hanging around for a week, I’ve been doped up on Lorcet since yesterday afternoon to kick it before work starts back tomorrow.

Lorcet has this way of making you feel really awesome when you’re real still and not doing much… and then giving you the worst nausea the moment you start to move around like a normal person.

The only thing I’ve found to combat the nausea is writing thank you notes. This works out perfectly, given I’m behind on them, with the exception of two small things: 1) my handwriting is sloppy because one of the side effects is my arms randomly fall asleep, and 2) I’m as stoned as a… I’m stoned.

So far I vaguely remember writing the following two notes:

“Dear ____,

Thank you so much for the meat tenderizer! I promise to use it only on meat, and not on Asa”

and

“Dear ____,

Thank you so much for the Target gift card. One of the great things about marrying someone who works all the time is that I don’t have to fight him over the gift cards. Otherwise we’d have a house full of Cheez-Its and Xbox games”

I probably should tear open the envelopes and re write the cards, but one of the few things that overrides my sense of propriety is my cheapness.
Anyways, whatever to get rid of the nausea, right?

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